


If You Love Me Hardcore

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Australia, Body Appreciation, Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, OTRA tour, lilo, lilo getting drunk, sharpie abuse haha, slight mention of self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-13 15:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3386126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis had retired to his own room but the adrenaline of seeing the fans, and having fun and conga-dancing with his best friend left him unable to just settle down and go to sleep. His mind was still buzzing from their show and the ridiculous amount of alcohol he'd consumed and he was exhausted but he just couldn't fall asleep. </p><p>So after a lot of tossing, turning and a request of a cup of tea that had worked to no avail, he sought out his usual means of fixing things. Liam.</p><p>An idea brewed in his mind and he quickly grabbed a black sharpie from his bedside drawer before he pulled on an oversized hoodie and decided that he was ready to leave, unaware of how the night would turn out.</p><p>OR;</p><p>The one where after a night of partying, Louis just wants to embellish his friend's skin with sharpie-drawn penises but a blade has already beat him to it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Love Me Hardcore

**Author's Note:**

> Okay.
> 
> So I have no idea how this happened. 
> 
> I was just thinking about Lilo's drunken escapades (which I haven't stopped thinking about since they happened) and the whole sharpie-incident and that, mixed with my love of Lilo angst (don't judge me) prompted me to write this one-shot, which I am only semi proud of. I just really wanted to write Lilo okay and I just thought this would be cute and fluffy and a bit angsty but would end happily.
> 
> If you want to follow me on tumblr, I am differxntial
> 
> Send me a message, check out my blog, comment your blogs below and let's be friends, cause I need more Lilo shipper friends because yeah, who doesn't?
> 
> This isn't proofread or beta-d or whatever, if anyone know how to do that, hit me up yeah?
> 
> Title of the song from Lana del Rey's 'Never Let Me Go' which is one of the best song ever, so take a listen.

* * *

 

 

It was four in the morning and Louis couldn't sleep.

 

He was restless and sobering up from his wild night with Liam at Eve's Bar, drinking until they were so wasted that conga-dancing had ensued on their way back up to their respective hotel rooms. 

 

Liam had always been a lightweight, so had dropped to sleep after leaving a few pitiful tweets on twitter and Louis had retired to his own room but the adrenaline of seeing the fans, and having fun and conga-dancing with his best friend left him unable to just settle down and go to sleep. His mind was still buzzing from their show and the ridiculous amount of alcohol he'd consumed and he was exhausted but he just couldn't fall asleep. 

 

So after a lot of tossing, turning and a request of a cup of tea that had worked to no avail, he sought out his usual means of fixing things.  _Liam._

 

An idea brewed in his mind and he quickly grabbed a black sharpie from his bedside drawer before he pulled on an oversized hoodie and decided that he was ready to leave, unaware of how the night would turn out.

 

He'd tiptoed out of his room and a little way down the narrow hallway until he reached Liam's room. The boys all had copies of each other's room keys so that if any of them lost theirs - an occurrence that might have happened to Louis on a regular basis - there would always be a spare. Louis had grabbed Liam's key before he left and quickly inserted it into the keyhole before cracking the door open quietly.

 

Liam's room was dark for the most part, but the early morning light was shining dimly into the room from the where the curtains on the balcony door were pulled back and it bathed Liam's bed mostly, in it's natural light.

 

Louis closed the door behind him as quietly as he could muster and tiptoed towards Liam's bed, where his younger friend was sleeping and snoring peacefully. Louis as he slowly sank to sit on the side of the bed, couldn't help but notice how the slight lighting illuminated the sleeping boy's sharp handsome features.

 

He was sleeping on his side, legs curled slightly and the blanket tossed aside in his sleep because Australia was so fucking hot. The light dancing across his face bringing out the curve of his plump lips and the slope of his adorable nose and the lines and muscles of his arms.

 

It distracted Louis from his initial purpose of sneaking into the room. His sharpie was forgotten in his pocket and instead of scrawling all over Liam's lovely exposed skin, Louis found himself reaching out to touch Liam.

 

 _God,_  he was beautiful.

 

His glistening skin was warm underneath Louis' cold fingers, and he smiled at the familiarity of it. Liam was always warm, blistering hot sometimes and Louis never missed a chance to engulf himself in the warmth and comfort that was Liam. His fingers started at Liam's cheeks that hosted a pink blush from heat and made him look so freaking cute, Louis thought absent-mindedly. Then his hand moved down his neck, thumbing at where his birthmark was and he used all his restraint to not reach down and kiss the unique spot. Wandering fingers trailed down Liam's toned chest, pressing slightly to feel the hardness that was built by hours of gym sessions, some in which Louis would 'help' by straddling Liam's back while he did push-ups. The thought caused Louis to smile. His fingers travelled lower, and he was blushing to himself as they danced across Liam's hipbone, the tips of his fingers shifting the waistband of Liam's boxers slightly - because practically none of them actually slept with clothes on. 

 

Louis gasped though when this happened, because as the fabric moved it exposed an angry red line, fierce and under the feel of Louis' fingers throbbing. Faded versions of this original line, lay littered across his hipbone and when Louis gently moved the other side of the material down, his eyes met another matching set.

 

His eyes began to water as he looked at Liam's face that was tranquil and content, but he couldn't help but think that under that, under the happy smiley crinkle-eyed Liam he saw everyday bouncing about on stage and riding bicycles in rehearsals and leaving cute drunken tweets was a less happier Liam that was  _cutting_  himself.

 

Louis wanted to cry. He must've started crying or at least making a loud stupid whimpering noise because Liam had started to stir and before he could help it, brown eyes were gazing sleepily up at him. "Lou..." Liam started groggily, sitting up (and wincing because he was really fucking hungover) and rubbing his eyes. 

 

When they'd adjusted slightly, he took in Louis' teary-eyed figure and frowned. "Louis, are you alright mate?" Liam said worriedly, his voice still scratchy from sleep and if Louis wasn't so damn confused and upset right now he would have revelled in the sound. He also hated how Liam was asking if  _he_  was alright. Here he was, hungover and hurting and he still fucking cared if he was alright.

 

He ignored Liam's remark and frowned before bluntly saying. "Why are you cutting?" And okay it wasn't smooth, nor thought out, but this was Louis and this was Liam and Louis couldn't fathom what had hurt Liam so bad that he needed to cut. That he hadn't come and confided in Louis about. He felt so guilty, like he hadn't fulfilled his role as a best friend. His stomach felt like it dropped when Liam's body tensed underneath him.

 

His fingers were still resting as the younger boy's hipbone and almost simultaneously they stared down at the scars. Liam took a shallow shaky breath when he saw them and refused to meet Louis' eyes. "It's nothing...really, you don't have to worry about it." he mumbled quietly.

 

Louis could feel his sadness quickly become replaced with anger and his face was hard and emotional as he stared at the brunette boy. "Do not tell me that bullshit Liam, of course this is something to worry about, this is something I want to worry about! I am one of your best friends Liam and I don't want to see you hurting. You are always there and caring for me and putting up with shit but you need someone to care for you once in a while." Louis shouted, feeling only slightly bad when Liam held his head in pain at the volume of his voice.

 

"What's wrong Li? Please tell me." he added quieter now, his voice pleading and sounding dangerously as if he were to start crying properly this time.

Liam looked at Louis with pain-stricken, broken brown eyes. He felt all the sorrow and the sadness that he usually pushed down to the very corners of his mind (that sometimes relieved themselves by becoming little red marks on his skin) trickle through his front, breakthrough the walls he put up and his breathing once again become shallow as all the memories came to mind. "I..." he started slowly and Louis brought a hand to rest on the small of his back, his thumb stroking soft patterns to calm his friend. 

 

Liam took a deep breath and started over. "I started last year around April, when t-the You and I video came out. I was so happy, so pleased, everything was perfect and then I went on twitter and saw all the stuff were saying about the video...about  _me_  in the v-video." Liam paused, an onslaught of tears spilling from his closed eyes.

 

"Fat. Ugly. Talentless. All these things that I thought I'd never have to hear again after I'd conquered my bullies in school, after I'd made something of myself and met all of you guys. There were people defending me,  _you_  had told me to forget them and I so I tried, I tried  _so_  hard Lou, but then it got worse." Louis' heart was breaking as he listened. He'd known about the horrendous reaction that some people had to Liam in the video.  _His_  Liam, that he thought was perfect and good and beautiful in every way. 

 

Liam continued through tears and ragged breaths. "People were comparing me to all of you, they said I wasn't important, that I was ruining the band's image and I believed their words. They started wondering why you all liked me, you especially. They hated me because they thought I was a hindrance for not only the band but also between you and Harry. They would send me the same hate they used to send Eleanor, they would compare me to Harry and I wouldn't blame them because of course you'd like him before you ever did me." Louis' heart stuttered in shock.

 

It took a while before Liam continued. He opened his eyes and looked at Louis with the most heart-breaking expression Louis had ever witnessed. "But Lou...I was falling for you and these things that people said made me so so sad. So I cut to try and take away the pain, to make myself feel numb so I could pretend to be happy because at least I had you as a friend. Even if you'd never love me like I did  you, at least I had you and I thought I could just suffer in silence. I'm sorry Lou."

 

The sun was bursting through the opening now, it's rays casting light over Liam's forlorn face and defining every bag under his eyes, every tear streak on his cheek and the redness in his eyes and face. Louis couldn't help but feel like this was the Liam that would be when he was alone, in his room being taunted and teased by his thoughts or in the bathroom making relieving incisions into his trembling skin. And all because people didn't notice how beautiful and important he was and because he didn't think he deserved Louis' love. He thought Louis didn't love him? That was like a punch to the face. Was this why he hadn't wanted to go surfing? Was he trying to hide the scars? And did he actually just bloody  _apologize?_

 

Louis' actions spoke before his words could. He pushed Liam so he was resting on his 

 

back before he quickly straddled his chest. He only caught a glimpse of Liam's shocked puppy-eyed reaction before he was pushing his mouth down unto Liam's ridiculously sumptuous one and he kissing him. He tried to convey all his feelings into the kiss. The  _you are the most beautiful human ever_  and  _I have never loved anyone more you idiot_ and the  _I should slap you upside the head for not telling me._  He nipped at Liam's plump bottom lip and the boy gasped and Louis' tongue slipped inside Liam's mouth that was hot and wet and tasted vaguely of beer and mint. His hands were gripping Liam's cheeks and Liam's had come to rest on Louis' petite waist. 

 

The kiss went on for a lifetime and a day, before their lungs screamed out at them to break apart and they did, foreheads resting on each other and breathing deep. "Li, please forget everything those idiots have said, they are wrong. You are amazing and essential to our band and I care about you so much, fuck Li. We'll get through this, _please_ say you believe me." Louis said helplessly, hands still rested on Liam's cheeks.

 

Liam looked directly at Louis and slowly brought a hand up to grab his fingers and tangle their fingers together gently, squeezing softly. "I...I believe you." he whispered.

 

Louis pecked Liam's forehead and look him in the eyes. "You'll stop cutting then?" he said and Liam squirmed a little under him and Louis sighed. "Liam, I  _love_  you." he breathed hoping that the intensity in his tone comes across to Liam, because he really did love him. He probably had for a long  _long_  time, but it had taken this to become a key to unlocking his hidden feelings.

 

Liam smiled up at gently and reached forward to kiss Louis for a short moment. "Gosh Lou, I love you, so much....I'll stop for you, I'll try, I promise." he said firmly and Louis grinned down at him stupidly before he smirked.

 

"Good, because the only marks on your body should come from me." his smile was devilish and Liam could only quirk a brow before Louis unearthed his black sharpie from his pocket and proceeded draw a penis on both of Liam's cheeks and his neck. 

 

Liam laughed heartily and Louis could feel the rumble of laughter from where he sat on Liam's chest and his smile literally grew because he was making Liam laugh and smile and be happy. He never wanted Liam's laugh to cease. 

 

"You're so stupid." Liam said weakly, wrapping his arms around Louis and bringing him down so the older's boy head was rested on his chest and Liam inhaled the tantalising aroma of alcohol and boy and _Louis_ as said boy shifted about a little to get a bit more comfortable, revelling in Liam's muscular arms holding him close and safe and the warmth that always radiated from his body, nuzzling his head into his toned chest.

 

"Shut up Payno." he mumbled quietly as the constant steady beat of Liam's heart started to gently lull him to sleep. " 'm so tired." he said as Liam combed his fingers through his already dishevelled brunette hair, making him even more susceptible to sleep.

 

"Sleep here then, we've still got time." Liam whispered as he continued to scratch his fingers at Louis' scalp. His heart elated at the sleeping boy on top of him whom he loved so much his heart could just burst with affection. He'd dreamed of this moment for so long, now it was finally reality.

 

"Hey Li, can we go surfing tomorrow?" Louis tiredly muttered as hazy afterthought, pressing a timid kiss to Liam's bare chest and Liam just about made out his words before he answered, "Just me and you?" and Louis' head moved in a tiny nod and Liam also nodded before speaking.

 

"Sure, I'd love to. Now sleep tight Lou, love you."

 

"Love you too Payno."

 

And with that they drifted into a soundless, love-fuelled slumber.


End file.
